i wish i was a little bit taller

After weeks of unemployment, and inability to play basketball I've hit a new low for boredom. The follow shows that. (In honor of the funniest book of all-time The Timewaster Letters)

To the Dorchester Hotel in London

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: flinder boyd <lildozen@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Nov 16, 2009 at 5:18 PM
Subject: Room Request
To: reservations@thedorchester.com 


To Whom it may concern,

I'm looking to make plans for New Years and would like to book your hotel.
Although not for this year, I was thinking of booking a room for New Years 2050. I know things can get book quite well in advance I thought that it was best to make reservations early. I'll be looking to stay Thursday December 29th, 2049- Monday January 2nd, 2050.
Requests- I've reserved flight AA348 from St. Louis on the Thursday and would like a pick-up from Gatwick airport at 4:49p.m in any late model car. Preferably a 2049 edition Mercedes with tinted windows. However, if there are flying cars by this time,I would prefer a late-edition flying car.
Also, I would request 6 caramel chocolates candy bars on my bed. In addition, I would like all employees of the hotel to refer to me as 'The Baron' and refrain from looking me directly in the eye at any given time. Please also place two sheep in my room for counting purposes.
Thank you,
I look forward to the confirmation of this request.
I. J. Boyd

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Reservations <reservations@thedorchester.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 9:04 AM
Subject: The Dorchester
To: flinder boyd <lildozen@gmail.com>

Dear Mr Boyd,

Thank you for your recent email and you enquiry concerning accommodation at The Dorchester. It is with great regrets that we have to inform you that we are at this point unable to offer any accommodation for as far in advance as 2049.

If we may kindly ask you to contact us closer to the time and we will be delighted to assist you further.

Kind regards

 Sigrid Walcher

Reservations

The Dorchester

Park Lane W1K 1QA

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: flinder boyd <lildozen@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Subject: Re: The Dorchester
To: Reservations <reservations@thedorchester.com>


Dear Sigrid,

That is very sad indeed. I very much hope it is not fully booked for new years of 2049. If I write to request a room next year will that be sufficient time? Or will they already be booked? Also, will there be fireworks displays at your hotel on said date? Can I bring a pet donkey if need be?
I would very much enjoy a room. 
Please let me know
Mr. Boyd

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Reservations <reservations@thedorchester.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 1:12 PM
Subject: The Dorchester
To: flinder boyd <lildozen@gmail.com>


Dear Mr Boyd,


Thank you for your reply. I can assure you that New Year’s Eve 2049 is not yet fully booked; the earliest we will start taking reservations will possibly be a year prior and therefore 2048.

Special arrangements are allowed for some pets.

 Sigrid Walcher

Reservations

The Dorchester

Park Lane W1K 1QA